love beyond measure

re-linkkkkkkk pls!

2008-10-01T14:16:49Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH KOH! ;)
HAPPY CHILDRENS DAY TO ALL MY KIDS! :D
love them allllll. (:

anyway, i've changed blog. HAHA so retarded. it's still livejournal though, goooo add me as friend again people. the link has been up for quite a while now. so...

GO FIND ME YOURSELF!

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-27T21:25:00

2008-09-27T13:56:28Z

i don't know what i've been spending my money on! it's so scary! i guess i just kept withdrawing that's why. urgh! all for food. :(

joy luck club & sing to the dawn are gonna be shown in cinemas soon. so much for studying it like mad. & so much for hating literature & loving movies! so ironic pls.

stupid unknown people are stupidly talking to me again. i've learnt not to accept stupid people on friendster or msn. freak, i don't even know you! dammit, you talk to me like im supposed to know you! ha, ask me which church im from then say "nothing" when i ask you why. sheesh! still can ask "can we be friends?" like, OBVIOUSLY NOT. what the heck, seriously.

P.S. my favourite phrase now is "what the heck"

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-27T01:43:00

2008-09-26T17:45:56Z

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go,
keep you longer than you want to stay
and cost you more than you want to pay.”

thank God for His grace so sufficient for each day! (:

i thought this feeling was gone

2008-09-23T12:49:57Z

stayed home yesterday & today pls! went to ikea with jehanne yesterday for dinner, & today, went to tampines to find a phone with dad. but they're like all sold out. :( so upsetting. so i don't know when i'll get my new phone, but i want it ASAP! since i really can't make myself delete all those stuff, im just gonna change my phone.

i finished the first season of one tree hill already, & im gonna start on the 2nd season soon! ((: exciting. but sitting too long in front of my lappy is torturing. i just have to move. & i keep eating, i grew so so fat already pls. :( &&&&& the stupid weather is so stupidly warm! urrggghhhh!

i wanna travel the world.

"im leaving because i cannot look at you without my heart breaking."

PICTURES ARE UP!

2008-09-22T06:29:33Z

pictures are up for your viewing pleasure! check out what i've been doing this holiday! ((:

P.S. livejournal is damn screwed up now

MIANZY'S BIRTHDAY

---

NPA CAREGROUP, 12 SEPT 2008

preparation!

larry's birthday celebration ((:

smoke. smoke. smoke.

my blessing. ((:

---

A DAY WITH MUTS
our nonsense camwhoring! super unglam pls. haha!

THE END.

i love my CG ((:

2008-09-21T15:57:36Z

the highlight for this week is NP A! (: met them on wed & the whole weekend! on wed, it was a journey to the west for me! we met up at queenstown for dinner. ((: really good food pls. then we went shopping at anchorpoint! really cheap stuff pls! haha!

then yesterday, woke up super early to meet a few of them at chinatown for jamming! it was good man! ((: even though i just nua-ed at the couch & watched them play. haha, damn fun. then larry came up with "budget brain" like damn randomly. it was damn funny. & larry was damn mean pls. making fun of me everywhere i go just cos i stay in pasir ris & have never been to many places in singapore. then we went to plaza sing for lunch, & went to suntec together for arrow service! ((: oh my gosh. sermon was really good. praise God! but i was just really tired. i think the sun drained all my energy. super hot these days pls. arrow ended late, then we quickly went for dinner!

today, met up with them to take tickets, then we went to eat, and went for 4th service. iris said that yi wei & i were damn noisy during service cos we kept laughing. HAHA. she was really funny what! after service more funny stuff happened, then the guys wanted to go jamming again, so i went home cos by the time they finish jamming, it'd be really late. i mean, not everyone stays as far as i do. haha! but it has been a really fruitful weekend! nothing can ever beat this pls. the company of God's people. :D & i really thank God im in this cg! so so blessed. (:

PICTURES FROM LAST WEEK WILL BE UP TOMORROWWW! :D

larry's joke:
larry: "want to hear a joke?"
janey: "yes!"
larry: "janey."
seriously, he's damn evil pls.

larry: "want to hear a joke?"
charlene: "yes!"
ailin & janey: "LARRY!"
jane: "that's a stupid joke"
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

yi wei's joke:
"how to cook half boil egg? boil the water, then hold one end of the egg and put half of it into the boiling water. since it's so hot, you might drop the egg. if you do, take a new egg and repeat again."
ZOMGGGG. hahahaha! i can't believe i laughed so long over a stupid joke!

SEMESTER 2 TIMETABLE!

2008-09-19T10:33:39Z

OH. MY. GOSH. i just got my timetable today! & sem 2's timetable is good, but super sian. monday 3 lectures pls. what the heck. & i was so used to 1 lecture! & everyday i start at 9am except thurs which i start at 10am. OH MYYY. my prayer was answered though, to end school early! the latest is 4pm! HALLELUJAH!

karuna, belinda & my best friend still teaching us! hoho. bernie & sha, told you she refuses to break with me. HAHAHA. (inside joke.) i'll miss winnie & ms tan though. &&& NO IT NEXT SEMESTER!!! HOOORAYYY!!! :D :D :D

okay, maybe after all sem 2 will be fun. (except mondays. ZOMG) my next prayer will be for good lecturers as nice as karuna! im excited to start school now pls! :D

RESULTS

2008-09-15T03:54:08Z

the first thing i did today was logging into npal to check my results. it was about 10am. the weather so freaking nice but everyone kept messaging me about my results. what the. my sister was on the phone too, calling like almost everyone in her contacts. so i couldn't sleep, i just had to wake up. then i checked my results.

...
...
...

soon im gonna meet muts for our mcvalue lunch. LOL?!
&&& yesterday i had my 3rd (&last) hep B jab! ((: praise God it's over. so freaking pain pls.

P.S. if you want me to ignore you, ask for my results.

many many pictures will be up soon.

i seriously wish i could just talk to you again. i want to share this joy & this sorrow with you. but im no one to you now.
it's so damn hard losing your best friend.

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-13T15:01:00

2008-09-13T07:40:24Z

this week has been like WOAH. gone by so fast, & so so fruitful! (: i spent my whole week with my closest, bestest friends everrr. firstly, i'd like to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to kor kor, larry & mianzy. ((:

i was kinda stressed at first, cos i had to plan birthdays & think of something really special to do for them. & i didn't wanna do the same thing cos i must make them all feel special. & so i did! im so happy. hahaha!

---

sunday served again & it was awesome. i kinda told lucy about like how i felt serving, but then suddenly something just changed on the inside. i could definitely feel it, cos i enjoyed serving! praise God! now i miss my JK kids pls. they're adorable. saw jane serving at JK too! HAHA. so exciting!

after serving, i didn't go for 4th. :( so i didn't go for service at all. met dad, mum & jehanne instead for crabs! haha. IT WAS SO AWESOME PLS! i love crabs. then later rushed home just to watch camp rock. lol?! i think demi lovato is really pretty. can't believe she's freaking younger than me. i watched it just for joe jonas actually. :/

---

monday went out with mianzy! we went to bugis to eat some chinese restaurant noodles. nice man! then we talked super a lot. & went to visit the veggie! HAHA. she's working at macs pls. then we waited for kl but in the end she went out somewhere else. sheesh. so mianzy & i went to cityhall then to tamp! so exciting pls. must so hang out soon again mianzy! love you like crap.

---

tuesday stayed home to complete mianzy's present.

ah! i love it pls. haha. i was so excited when i completed it.

---

wednesday, went for mianzy's birthday chalet! it was fun. we took like a whole lot of pictures pls. hahaha! walked around with weers & melly, then realised that a whole lot of people we know are like having chalet same place, same time! zomg pls. then we were locked out of the chalet cos they all went to arcade! LOL?! then weers, melly & i just sat at the pavillion & talked! (: later, left at about 11pm.

---

thursday, met mianzy, melly & kl for a movie! met up with melly first to really catch up, then movie with mianzy & kl. they didn't sleep during the chalet, so mianzy actually slept in the cinema. HAHAHAHA! we were watching wall-e & seriously, i almost slept too pls. only the spaceship part is exciting. i actually thought "are there gonna be any words at all?" lolololol. oh yes, & mianzy kept laughing at the fat people in the show! nothing funny what! they just move around in floating chairs only! she laughed to sleep pls. it was hilarious. then we went pasta mania & talked a lot too! (:

---

friday, went to IKEA with mum for lunch, then she went to work, & i came home to sleep! because i wasn't feeling well. then i got up, went to cityhall to get some stuff for larry, & went for caregroup! ((: travelled all the way back to school! for a moment i felt damn new to school again. hahaha. then we had caregroup & we had our own mid autumn celebration! hahaha, we played with lanterns & sparkles! thanks to jeremy for all the stuff! then we just walked around school with lanterns. HAHA. so cool. really very fun. then when the whole place was filled with smoke, jolene was like "come let's sing a birthday song for larry!" then he was like "what? serious?" hahah. then gave him his brownie cake! ((: YAY! super exciting. we didn't really have the bestest like birthday surprise cos we didn't have the time.

---

today, im slacking at home. haha. watch tv the whole day only. ((:

---

BTW, im jealous! the 4th gen ipod nano looks good! mine's like the 2nd gen, exactly the same, just smaller screen. RAH! but but but. im happy as long as my nano's not the 3rd gen. HAHA. sucks la that one.

i've got a whole lot of pictures i need to get from people. im so praying for my own camera! update soon with more pictures!

P.S. what's more exciting than seeing Jesus work in my life? (:

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-11T21:55:00

2008-09-11T14:21:14Z

im starting to hate a lot of people & things now. only when you freaking need me then you come to me. if not, you wouldn't even bother i exist. like when im talking to other people, you just cut in & leave me out. you always want to squeeze in, you never want to be the last. & then leave me to be the last. honestly, im like damn pissed. i didn't feel like going at first, but dammit, i have to be there now. & yes, thank you so much, i'll be doing this on my own again. don't need your help, don't even need to see you pls. & BTW, if laughing is such a problem for you, then too bad. be sad all your life i don't care. you freaking have a problem with people who laugh. what are you? a freaking robot?

AH! SHUT UP & STOP PISSING ME OFF!

to melly, mianzy, weersy, lanzy, i love you all. (: seriously you guys made my whole week. & you guys are the only people i can be so open with, so "anyhow" with. i guess you guys are the ones who know me the longest ever. love you all.

update more soon.

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-10T00:19:00

2008-09-09T16:21:34Z

"girls just want someone to want them back"

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-09T10:59:00

2008-09-09T03:05:30Z

i miss the stage. i miss performing. i miss the tiers. i miss toh. i miss my choir. i miss choir practice. i miss warm-ups. i miss my scores. i miss reaching the highest notes of the song. i miss the AV.

most of all, i miss singing.

thanks, bitch

2008-09-07T14:10:50Z

i hope you're happy now. seriously, i thought you were my friend. i thought you knew how i felt. i thought you could be trusted. so what if you were my very first friend? you hold no significance to me anymore. & your stupid fake personality will soon be discovered. i didn't think you'd go this far. the first time you made it seem like my fault. i had to be the one to apologize when you couldn't even face up to me. who's the one with no guts at all?

if i had the chance, i'd go up to your face & say "f*** you". this temptation i WILL NOT resist. & if anything happens to you, you're the only one i won't be there for.

so much for 'he's a jerk'. yeah, right.

im so sorry, but you've not defeated me.

myfuturedecided @ 2008-09-05T22:45:00

2008-09-05T16:29:57Z

i don't know what's going on. so many things happening now, too much for one soul to handle. i don't know where this is going, and i don't know how to keep this faith any longer. i saw how love can bring you so much happiness, but i also saw how love can crush a whole being. i felt this way personally, but i didn't know it could happen once again, this time indirectly.

what could make my love life even worse is seeing my own family go through it.
& i thought the pain was over.

GOOD FOOD WEEK!

2008-09-03T13:58:42Z

okay seriously, good food cannot stop coming! ((: my whole entire week i had awesome food! lol.

tues 26th aug: shokudo

wed 27th aug: sakae

thurs 28th aug: ajisen

fri 29th aug: new york new york

sat 30th aug: fish & co

sun 31st aug: swensens

mon 1st sept: canadian pizza

tues 2nd sept: soup spoon

wed 3rd sept: lerk thai

HAHAHA, i think tomorrow my good food week will stop cos i'll be cooking for myself. lol.

anyway, share with you something! Jesus loves me so much! on friday went to bugis right, saw this really pretty pair of earrings at topshop! then it was like $16 so mianzy was like "forget it janey." so i did, i didn't buy it! then on sat, i went to parkway parade to walk around with mummy before her work. then i asked her whether the earrings are worth are whether i should get them. she said i should. so we went to topshop at parkway. AND GUESS WHAT! JESUS IS SO GOOD! the same exact pair of earrings only cost $6! plus, i got a free pair of earrings! OH MY GOSH RIGHT! ((: praise Jesus!

today was quite a long day. spent with some 4/5 people! we went to e!hub and we bowled! then we just sat somewhere & talked. then we went to white sands, some went home, then the remaining people went to the library & just talked. (: met daddy after that & we went to eat dinner together. awesome.

my past week i kinda saw how the world thinks & reacts to circumstances. i've got more stuff to share! but i'll update soon again okay! cos my stupid lappy take 10000000 years just to load livejournal. WHYYY. =/

P.S. i wanna watch wall-e, anyone wanna watch with me?

Jubilee Kids

2008-09-01T10:41:10Z

she dance away just like a child

Daddy's grace was more than sufficient for me yesterday! woke up early, head over to MM & started serving. at first i felt really very dry, i was so bored. for 7 hours, just watching the kids. but my 2 year olds are always my joy. ((: i was so so tired after serving. so many of them cried yesterday! my goodness. thank God we had a nice view, so everytime the kids cry, we carry them to the window & cheered them up with the swimming pool & trees! lol. oh yeahh, & my kids gave me stickers too! ((: HAHA.

my arms & legs are aching today. because everytime they cry they would just climb on you so you have to carry them. & when they're okay already, they'll just sit on your lap. & the thing is you cannot move your leg much if not it'd be uncomfortable for them. so just suffer aches in silence! but to me, they're just precious, innocent jewels. & to think how my Daddy sees me is not even close!

actually i talked to jenn about serving & not knowing whether i was in the right age group but i guess it'd be better after a while. or maybe i should really get a transfer! im still praying about it though. i mean, i love my 2 year olds. they're more than adorable. it's like not only i love them, but knowing that they love me too just warms my heart. esp with their little hugs & running back to you everytime you reappear. but i think that i'd experience when i work, not really my ideal serving.

served for 2nd & 3rd service, then went for 4th service. i just had to listen to the word. i felt really fed after pastor lian's preaching. her jokes are funny! haha.

after service went to swensens with mummy, shu & korkor. (: cos we had some free sundaes. lol. then we went to the airport to fetch jehanne! she just came back yesterday from bangkok! i wanna go there tooooo. soon soon. at least now i know where to shop for good buys! ((:

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY TO ME! (:

WARNING: LONG POST

2008-08-25T12:32:31Z

another fruitful week has passed! ((: ((: praise God! :D actually this week was rough, but i feel better, thanks to the awesome-st people i spent with the entire week! ((:

Sunday, 24th Aug
i met up with ailin babe for service! we went for 3rd. i would've went for 4th if not for mummy cancelling on me! but thank God ailin was there with me okay, if not i won't go for service either. so anyway, service was super refreshing pls. the worship was awesome, i could sense Daddy's presence just moving slowly around the whole audi. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME. & then message was so much more amazing! i've been reading the bible the past few days trying to find encouragement (since the world only knows how to let you down) & then i came across many super nice verses that had the phrase 'fear of God'. & then i talked to Daddy & asked Him, what is the fear of God? to man, the fear of God is being afraid of Him. that's what i thought for a moment. BUT, yesterday before pastor's message, he said that the Holy Spirit asked him to change message. he was supposed to preach about the offering, but instead he talked about God's holiness. & then it led to the fear of God. ZOMGGG IT'S SO AMAZING PLS! & pastor also said that if God really wants you to be afraid of Him, soon you'll hate Him. which is really true, cos most of the time fear leads to hatred. so like, why would God want you to hate Him?! the fear of God is actually the WORSHIP of God. & in the bible 'fear & trembling' is describing how you'd feel when you actually see the magnificence of God. ((: because He's so so great, He's indescribable. ((: Daddy answered me yesterday! the feeling was SO AWESOME MANXZXZ! :D

after service, i hung out with ailin while waiting for her sister! then we saw NP A in the queue! :D AH! awesome bunch. i'll go 4th next time! (: after i serve for 2 weeks. when ailin's sister was ready, i took a train to white sands to get some materials! then homed.

& then my heart broke. i was so annoyed / upset / pissed. my mum came home with the phone i wanted so bad! it was like my dream next phone pls. can you imagine the thing you want so bad, the next moment someone else has it. then like what the heck. if i get it people will think im the copier just cos i don't have the money. DAMMIT. & the thing is, i told her i wanted that phone. & she told me she wanted a sony ericsson. :( but i didn't wanna trade my phone with her tho. cos too many memories inside. i choose to believe that the memories in my current phone is worth more than the one i want! but seriously, i was just damn upset. she was the one who prevented me from getting a motorola phone much much earlier. she say no good! then now, zomgggggggggg. :(

Monday, 25th Aug
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEERSY! ((:
i met ailin again! super good time with her! we went to city plaza together! ((: the cheapos. HAHAHA. so funny. we knew that there had a whole lot of cheap clothes, so we hurry planned a date out. she bought her bag & shoes but i didn't buy anything!! :( cos nothing really caught my eye. plus i was so sad that most stuff they sell there are WAY CHEAPER than online! so my heart pain. :( i wasted so much money for convenience! so bernie, STOP ME FROM SHOPPING ONLINE! im getting cheated. lol.

after city plaza, the babe & i went to singpost to eat! we had KFC! & all the chicken nut bread started coming out! she's hilarious pls. at one of the shops, there was this lady who was ordering chicken. so she said "2 pieces chicken wing" then suddenly ailin turned to me & said "CHICKEN NUT BREAD!" HAHAHAHAHA! & the way she said was damn funny pls! so we just talked for 2 hours at KFC! & she made me realise something. that we just know each other for 1-2 months only! & it's as if we know each other for so long! praise God! ((: really a godly friendship built! ((: it's really Jesus man, like how i can just clique with the whole NP A in less than 2 months! it's so amazing. & to know that they're all there despite whatever that happened in my past. :D :D :D

so anyway, was at pasir ris interchange when i saw amelia, farhana, syairah & jamie! ((: so cute pls, their class had a chalet. & then, later when i took the bus, it was so so so super packed with people like sardines. WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG? the bus couldn't move when it was just at the 1st bus stop. LOL?!?! then the bus driver asked EVERYONE to alight when it was so so jam packed. & all the office workers just stomped off & you could see everyone just walking away instead of waiting for another bus! lol. i walked home too tho. cos i know if the next bus comes, it'd be packed too! so no point waiting. some more only at 1st bus stop! who would stop there?! lol.

Tuesday, 26th Aug
i actually went to do my hair in the morning. LOL?! i dyed my hair again. i look the same luh, cos i just dyed the roots. after that, i went out with weersy! we went back to SAC just to collect her cert. then we sat at the canteen and ate pau! (cos the rest of the food was so so bad) & THERE WERE BIG SCREEN TEEVEES THAT SHOWED SLIDESHOWS OF MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS & CRAP. zomgggg, how lame can they get. how much money pls. they even sell ice cream now! so anyway, weers & i didn't really bother going to see the teachers because they're all still having lessons. we totally forgot it was a tuesday! they end school later. lol. so then weers & i took a cab down to tampines stadium & you can't believe this but we went to run! HAHAHAHA. everyone was like 'huh? serious?' wah lao, eh pls, i got go pasir ris park run one lor. but it was so funny actually. i ran 3 rounds, walked 4. HAHAHA! we were actually finding for a good place to work out, then we ended up at the tracks. HAHA. but it was fun okay. it felt good. ((:

but the exercise wasn't of much use later when i ate so much again! weers & i had subway, then we just hung out a while there & i went to simei to meet kai yan. she fetched me from there to go meet lydia at cineleisure! ((: SO SO AWESOME OKAY! i love them so much. we had the jap pasta & nice green tea ice-kachang-like dessert. & we just walked walked around. then kai yan send me home. so sweet right. praise God she stays near me! ((: then we just talked a lot. even when i was downstairs my block, we just sat in her car and talked from 10.30pm till about 12.15am! ((: we shared a lot, like what kinda things we went through, they were kinda related but the best part was seeing Jesus. i loved it. ((: awesome time with her! i laughed a lot, really. she's so funny.

came home, got my heart crushed even more when mum finally told me what was happening. shu if you're reading this, i already know. if there's any other shit, please tell me, don't let me suffer by hoping. i was actually very very very hurt. i think i totally just lost all kinds of hope. even the hope to become a relationship counsellor. because i don't see a point in a relationship anymore. i cannot help other people if i cannot overcome it myself. & i was just so devastated, at the lowest point of my life until i remembered caregroup's message. im so so pressed now but im not going to be crushed. im persecuted but never abandoned. man can leave me but the creator of this universe is in me. i can be struck down but i'll never ever be destroyed. as much as even my once called friend can do this to me, i'll still reign in this life. i was really so down i didn't feel like living at that moment. i can cry, my heart can break, but you will never see me fall to your level anymore. like what kai yan said, im so valuable, so precious. IM WORTH THE BLOOD OF JESUS. no one can ever take that identity from me.

im just so scared i'll never love again. because to me, i don't think anything can last long. it's not like you don't even know my family background. i was so foolish, really. to be deceived by you.

Wednesday, 27th Aug
i went to meet jeryn after her school to go city hall. we had our sakae buffet again! ((:

awesome. then we just sat there and talk for close to 3 hrs? then we walked around. told her a whole lot of stuff. thank you babe for listening! (: took a train and alighted at paya lebar with her then i went to parkway, she went home. went to mummy's shop and just waited for her! and on our way home, shu called & we fetched her & her friend home! (: it was fun seeing shu again! :D came home really tired, just checked my mail and slept right away. oh by the way, here's how my lift looks like now! like some weird cave pls! cos they repaint my blocks & they re-do all the tiles again.

Thursday, 28th Aug
muts came over to my house to do stuff for weersy's birthday celebration! ((: then we prepared everything, cooked our own lunch, talked a lot, and just nua-ed. lol. we even watched "P.S. i love you" on my lappy! i almost cried tho, still very very touching. then later we went down to tampines to meet weers! then we surprised her & celebrated her birthday with her! ((:

when muts was at my place,

we tried doing the formation of "happy 18th!"

tried lighting some candles up (it actually looks damn romantic)

ended up burning MY NAIL! ZOMGGG!

this is the board we made for weers! (we gave her postcards cos she used to write them to me)

& weers loving it. LOL.

our food at ajisen! gooood food. ((:
muts then went "clubbing" after dinner, then i went to century with weersy to get a new pair of plain black pumps. ((: I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH! :D thank God for weersy's advice! then later i told weers i have to go off too! then we parted at the same traffic light as tues! LOL.

& i straight away called muttu to meet her! then we cabbed down to weersy's house! thank God again that i saved the message that weersy sent with her address in it. lol. & then we were there before her! then muts and i didn't know what to do! so i asked weers to message me when she's home. so she did! hallelujah! then we prepared everything for 1 hour pls! cos we bought candles & lighted them all up but suddenly the wind came! ZOMG i was pissed with God for a moment cos like hello im trying to make a surprise work here. but like the wind kept blowing off the flames even after trying about 4 times to re-light everything again. my fingers were red, black & almost fried from the lighter. cos of the flame & friction. we both had really waxed fingers & i had waxed legs too. LOL. sounds wrong. then in the end we gave up, cos muts also had to rush home. so i told weers to look outside, cos we left candles as the 'trail' to lead her to the big surprise. then she took so long that the trail flames were out too. LOLOLOL. but still she came and TAH DAH!

all the flames really died out. D: (the red candles have a really good fragrance)

weers making a wish!

her birthday 'cake'! (cos we couldn't find an affordable ice cream cake)

& us! ((:

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, WEERSY! ((: oh yeah, forgot to tell you that we planned this damn early. so the thing about me getting my allowance on wed (just so i could meet you on thurs) was a joke. LOL. :D

Friday, 29th Aug
woke up earlyyyy, really early to meet muts to go back to SAC for teachers' day! met her at 85 bus stop, got some flowers for the teachers!

we were like escorted to the hall for the celebration! LOL?! & it didn't end at 10am la, kai lan so unreliable. lololol.

the super hot & stuffy hall! real convent school, no air con hall!

the way of sitting in the hall has not changed! lol. i hated it so much.

the chinese teachers singing! zomg pls. HAHAHA!

the male teachers on stage! i didn't know there were so many! lol?!

after we gave the teachers their flowers, we went outside school & met saks! she just came back from her school! haha. then we took a bus to meet mianzy & lanzy. LOL. ((: mianzy was supposed to go to SAC with us, but she was too lazy, so we all met after lanzy's paper instead.

WE FINALLY HUNG OUT SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN TM! hahah! tampines has been our usual hang out place since sec school! thank God today we went to city hall! ((: we had lunch at new york new york! ((:

i love you all so much!

later we went to marina to walk a while, then we felt like going bugis! so we walked to bugis from suntec. ooh ooh while walking to suntec we stopped by the frolic to get some frozen yoghurt! ((: super cute place, i'll be going there often! get a free badge! lololol.

when we reached bugis, we went to bugis street cos mianzy insisted on going there. & I WAS THE ONE WHO ENDED UP BUYING STUFF! i bought shoes & a watch! i felt quite cheapo but hey, i saved a lot! lol. only $13 altogether! HAHAHA. & then i saw online sellers. shall not say who. SO THIS MADE ME MORE MAD. if i can buy 2 items at $13 at the same place they were, I SO SHOULD NEVER SHOP ONLINE ANYMORE!!! so anyway, we just hung out at bugis for quite a while, then left at like 6.15pm. muts had to go to church, while the other 3 of us went back to tampines for dinner. lol?! we're hilarious. so attached to tampines like that.

the funniest part was we ate dinner at macs. LOL?! first so ex lunch, then now macs. hahaha! i even ate a cheeseburger can. only $2. HAHAHA! i was kinda broke. yesterday dad gave me $100, i kinda spent it all in 2 days. crazy right, i know. all on really good food. ajisen & nyny! =/ after dinner-ing, we went to walk around & went home. the funny part is finally here!

we were walking to the interchange, then we saw baleno having some sale.
mianzy: "eh kai lan go bi-leh-no see la!"
lanzy: "no la fool, it's BAH-LEE-NO."
janey: "oh really? i thought it was "ber-lair-no"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

we really just burst out laughing from baleno all the way to our bus stands. HAHA! kailan is hilarious pls. lol. now im really tired. :( long long good good day!

---------------------------

that's my week so far! told you it's a long post. lol. i've got so much more to say tho, but too long already. HAHA. im so exhausted, & things aren't exactly very stable now. i don't know what to do also. AH! :( but to those people who spent this whole entire rough week with me, thank you so much. i really love you all. ((:

my fruitful week

2008-08-23T10:20:34Z

Psalm 23:4
"Even when i walk through the darkest valley, i will not be afraid, for You are close beside me." (NLT)

the past week has been so so fruitful! praise God! i've been hanging out with people i'll NEVER EVER trade for anyone else in this world. (: & i've been laughing so so much too! :D here comes the long post!

MONDAY WAS MY LAST PAPER! ((: so early right, most people haven't even started at that time. im so priviledged! i just went home straight after paper to spend time with my teevee. lol.

TUESDAY i saw MR JOHN LIM at tampines giant! he still looks the same! esp his dressing. lol. i went to giant with daddy to buy groceries! another priviledged moment - to have quality father-daughter time! we went to the courts nearby too, to get a new oven! ZOMGGG, exciting! muts & i are gonna bake. :D :D :D

WEDNESDAY i met weers at tanah merah & we just hung out at the airport T3! (: our usual place so so filled with memories now! we had ya kun for dinner again. ahaha. &&& the joke of the day!

the guy serves our toast.
weers: this is the butter sugar one! i am correctto...
*opens the bread*
...NOT.
janey: AAHAHAHAHAH!

had an awesome time talking to her! after our dinner at ya kun (haha), we went to cheers to get HIP HOP JELLY! now weersy loves it. lol. & then we sat at the arrival hall to just chat. left airport at 11pm! ((:

THURSDAY i went to parkway with mummy for lunch, then she went to work & i went to her shop to find birthday cards, but all not nice! so i bought some other stuff there. (: then later i realised i was late so i rushed off to school to meet 1B02! i was so lazy to cross the overhead bridge so i took a long long bus. then i realised i don't have enough money in my ez-link for my next bus to school. so i stopped at commonwealth MRT. lol?! then i topped up my card and rushed to clementi. & anyway, i think if i continued taking that bus i'd reach even later. so when i reached school, met up with 1B02 & went over to bernie's for our class BBQ! :D :D :D it was so exciting.

while waiting for the time to collect the key for the BBQ pit, we ate awesome frozen yoghurt! :D &&& walked around the place with hannah & debbie. we went into this air-con room to just chill. & then it rained! so in the end we went up to bernie's house and use her electric pit. HAHAHA! then it died on us okay! so we used her oven. haha. the class wasn't really like the class, cos a whole lot of people didnt go in the end. but it was still so so fun! i felt kinda bad cos like the 4 of us kinda 'excluded' ourselves from the class. :( my gosh. & bernie's house is awesome. :D i will so go crash your house one day, bernie! ((: oh oh! & the joke of that day:

i was sitting in front of bernie's big huge fat pooh bear.
janey: tickle pooh's big big nose!
bernie: why?
janey: so he can sneeze then i'll fly!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

&&&
bernie hugged big huge fat pooh bear.
janey: if you hug it means you love the owner too.
bernie got off pooh straightaway! LOL.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

we went off at 10.30pm, & i went home with joyce since she's an eastie too! :D :D

FRIDAY was the best-est day ever pls. :D woke up early to spend more time with mummy! we went to tampines for lunch since i was supposed to meet muts there! then when muts came, we followed mummy to choose a pair of shoes for her! later, mum had to go off to work, so muts & i just walked around TM to get our stuff. i got my 2 really cute birthday cards & birthday candles for the august babies in my cg, while muts got her highlighter & pen ink refills! &&& GUESS WHAT! we saw mianzy at TM! :D :D :D zomgggg, i've not seen her in ages. i asked her to get me a teachers' day present. LOL. she was with her friends so we just talked for like 2 mins! then we went off. muts & i went to tampines IKEA! :D then she gave me this packet of crispy M&Ms! (if you didn't know, that's my all-time fave flavour of Ms!)

on the packet, she wrote this:
prescription: 1 packet of Crispy Chill Pills
dosage: 1 Chill Pill everytime in times of anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment
after effects: Euphoria

patient: janey teo wan hui
date: 220808

HAHAHA! you have to admit, that really is funny & creative! :D so we went to get some stuff at IKEA, ate meatballs & hot dogs! hahaha! we felt damn greedy. lol. after that, it started raining heavily again, so we took a cab back to my house since it's like super uber near. less than 5 bucks cab, but cos we took at peak hour, it's more. dang! so she came over to my house for a while, then both of us had to go. she went home while i went back to school. lol. here comes the best part of the week! CAREGROUP! :D met all the NP A people! superrr amazing pls. really praise God for people like them! so priviledged again to have a whole bunch of church friends from the same school as me! :D even though everyone's older, im like the little sister in the caregroup! sometimes i even feel like we're all of the same age! :D

jolene shared a really powerful & real message.

2 Corinthians 4:6-10

"6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—

10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."

what do i do from here? we talked about feelings and the stuff we went through. we talked about being accused for something we didn't do. & that happened to me like many many times, & i always come out of it feeling so annoyed, so upset. but in the book of Acts, paul preached to the people who accused him. i mean, who in the right mind would start preaching after being accused? so instead of just saying "i want to be emo" or "im going to be so sad for the rest of the day" why not think "what do i do from here?" it's no point avoiding the problem, because it will definitely come back again. i learned that the best thing to do is just set your eyes on Jesus. i bet He felt even more accused & unjust when He was born to die for me. & it was really awesome man. cos i didn't go for service last week, so it was really an impactful message! (:

at the end of cg, jolene shared a SUPER HILARIOUS joke that i still can't stop laughing at!
CHICKEN NUT BREAD!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(ask me if you wanna know the joke! more fun if you hear it than read it)

& then, we started like getting each other's numbers by the end of caregroup, & edmund was super funny too. he just got my number then i didn't know his. so he called me like randomly without me knowing. then i was like "eh who called me?" no one said anything. so i answered the call, then he was just standing like 1 person away from me & he was like "hello hello this is edmund" ZOMGGGG! HAHAHAHA! it was so embarrassing! but i started laughing before anyone could. LOL. then wei heng saw everyone taking down numbers so he came with his pen and paper and said "sorry i very old fashion", then started writing people's names & numbers on the paper while everyone was saving them in their phones. HAHAHAHA! & yi wei was another funny one. oh man, thank God for this cg! so much laughter! yi wei's like my laughing friend. another joke of the day:

we were all at NP's bus stop STILL waiting for bus.
jolene: why are you guys still here?
yi wei: cos got no bus!
*jolene's stunned face*
yi wei: i mean the bus not here yet

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
okay i know it doesn't seem funny but at that moment it was!!! LOL. i was supposed to take 151 with ailin, but we waited for half hour! & by the time i reach hougang i'd miss my last bus alr. so i waited with her & took a train instead. ((:

SATURDAY (today) woke up to go lunch with the whole family! :D praise Jesus! finally a family meal for no occasion! &&& we went for a buffet some more! but it wasn't really very very good though, not much stuff, cos it was a high-tea buffet. lol. but still, i had a good time with good company! :D

&&& later, SHU MING'S COMING TO STAYOVER! :D :D :D AHHHH! what an awesome way to end off my fruitful week! ((: filled with so much glory, filled with the fingerprints of God! even though i thought my exams are over means freedom + boredom, i seriously could not ask for a better holiday than to spend it with the bestest company in the world! (:

thank You, Jesus. (:

myfuturedecided @ 2008-08-20T17:37:00

2008-08-20T09:53:31Z

i never knew it could hurt like this
and everyday life goes on
i wish i could talk to you for a while
miss you but i try not to cry
as time goes by

myfuturedecided @ 2008-08-19T14:43:00

2008-08-19T07:23:20Z

this might sound really surprising, but i think i really have to stop serving for now. it's either i take a ministry break, or just leave for good. for me, serving the Lord has always been a priviledge & the greatest honour. but this time, even He knows how im feeling about it. i've been ranting a lot to Him, & i know he hears them all. it's just that maybe it really isn't the right season for me yet. after all, im only 17. the minimum criteria serving in children's church is 18. just because of the course im doing, they just take me in. even though i told them i don't think im ready, they put me in the highest responsibility age group - 2 years old. i know i jumped too far & fast. but i just have to get out of it now. it is draining my whole entire being & i know for sure that is not what serving results in. i just have no mood to go back at all. if i stay, im sure to develop hatred for one part of the church. especially now when my mind's not even stable. im also sure that my interest for children will not be as strong anymore. :( URGH! im in such a big huge mess. i'd probably take a break, take time out to decide what i really want instead of jumping & make my final decision whether to stay or to leave. yeah, everyone can say "pray & ask God for grace" but it's not that easy at all when you're losing interest. i mean, i really don't mind serving. but. i just need time out.

WAAHHHH :(
so much worry & anxiety. :(

exams over!

2008-08-18T12:29:15Z

I AM SO DONE WITH 1ST SEM'S EXAMS! :D :D :D

YAYYEEE!!!
im free for 8 weeks, which is quite sad. :(

time time time

2008-08-17T10:40:30Z

i keep giving, but i get nothing back in return.
i keep helping, i keep listening, i keep understanding,
but when im in a major mess, you're not there.

i was there listening to every single problem you had,
even though it made me so mad.
i saw your perspective, placed myself in your shoes & understood how you felt
but you showed no sign of appreciation.
& when it's my turn to speak my mind,
you just didn't listen.

being nice is suddenly so tiring, so draining.

URRGGGHHHHH!
just when i thought i found my bestest friend in the whole wide world, he left.

---

but anyway, thank you bernie for nice encouraging comments! I LOVE YOU! (:

i can't believe im gonna say this, but
IM DESPERATE FOR TIME!

myfuturedecided @ 2008-08-16T17:36:00

2008-08-16T09:45:40Z

im so upset. i've been so down the past few days. :( i can't get over a lot of things. talked to mummy yesterday & i even told her that if i have the money i'd go far away from all my troubles here & start a new life somewhere else. i don't know. there are many questions i have for myself but i don't know how to answer them. i only want to run, and run far. even though it may not help me at all but i think i've had enough of the life here. i've been studying so much to get my mind off everything. i've been involving in a whole lot of stuff to get my mind off some things but turns out, they add more burden.

why, i don't get it. i really don't.

people keep stepping into my life & leaving.
people keep giving me false hope.
people keep condemning.

it's like as if my life is going nowhere.

"there comes a time when you have to lead your life, not just follow it."

the crazy press

2008-08-15T13:02:30Z

if you ever sing to me "janey (when it's supposed to be JENNY), what's the problem?"
or "janey is killing me"

seriously, the problem is you, & i'll kill you first.
that song is old, so get over it.

---

anyway, i've been reading the papers! (miracle) i just read like from 13-15aug today. HAHA. cos the past 2 days i've been mugging my brains out. so yeah, i've realised that they talk a lot about blogs. oh, they did mention about friendster & facebook too, so im not the only one thinking that it's ridiculous. i still log on though, to see funny photos like mianzy's or leave a comment to people whom i've not met in 1000000 years. (: oh yes, and about the blogs, it's kinda scary. there's this article about blogshops, & lylarose was mentioned. i mean like what the heck. selling a top for max $28 can get you to earn $10,000? so ridiculous. really lame. the article claims that lylarose (whose clothes are really really nice) earns $10,000 a month. i really wonder how the media looks like behind the scenes. i know there's a lot of backstabbing, but i didn't know they backstab people they feature. if people wanna keep their income to themselves, will it kill not to know? i mean, respect people's privacy man. they really go online to search for people's blogs. they went to search for blogshops. & livejournal has manyyyyy. but if they say earn $1,000 a month, i still can believe. $10,000 is insane. even my parents add together don't earn that much. but oh well just beware what you say. people out there are really crazy.

---

AND AND AND ZOMGGGGGGG I THINK PHELPS IS HOT. :D :D :D
but it's quite scary he swims so fast. HAHA.

oh btw, today's child development was quite disappointing. :( i memorised a whole lot of stuff inside out, upside down but those stuff i remembered word for word came out as the question. DANGGGG. i was so pissed. :( it's friggin all application questions! i mean, i know how to apply but i just don't know how to put it in words! & like it's worth 60 marks? the long answer questions. DAMMIT. i don't want a C or D. :( :( :( aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

i can't believe i studied for 2 solid days! without touching my phone & watching tv for only 1 hour! & i studied at the balcony on an ironing board! what the heck. it was really draining & now i've got to continue studying again. :( BAAAHHHH. i didn't study so many hours straight before. not even during o's.

the next freaking paper is classroom management. D: i can go hang myself now. i hate ppcm. :( :( :( stupid strategies. sha! your favourite right, i knew it. better teach conflict resolution to the one who ask us to hang ourselves for saying that vygotsky & rogerian theories have similarities! LOLOLOLOLOL.

---

I LOVE YOU SHA & BERNIEEEEEE! you girls are like my motivation to go to school! hahahha. :D :D :D
bernie sounds so cute right. bernetto sounds cute too. heehee. :D

myfuturedecided @ 2008-08-13T15:29:00

2008-08-13T07:30:56Z

urgh! i can't study at all. i've wasted so so so much time. :(

& now im back to using my old laptop cos my stupid new one is annoying me.

BAAHHH. exams please hurry end. :(